K.A.T.S

This is what happens when its 3am and I'm not in the mood to sleep (cos I woke up really late today). So I decided to do a sketch of my favorite painting of the Monalisa and then draw a comic strip.

But time doesnt allow me to draw the comic strip because after several unrecognizable sketches I finally abandoned the comic strip idea and settled on a bed time story. All the characters in the following story are fictional and also extremely sleepy.

Why cat-babies are called kittens and other stories;

(Part 1)
Ma Kat and Pa Kat had a small argument at the dinner table. Pa Kat wanted a puppy since he was a kid but Ma Kat was adamant. “Puppies make a mess, we’ll need a bigger litter and besides, I just read in the Cat Health Zine that cats with puppies tend to die earlier due to reasons not yet know to catkind. We could get a cat if you want”.
Ma Kat was always a ‘cat person’. Pa Kat agreed and they decided have some babies. Pa Kat called up Kit Kat, the cat delivery system to order babies. “No, I don’t want the free shipping by stork baby deliveries. Yes, we will pay extra for the UPS express shipping”, he said. Which was a good thing too because Large Beak, the CEO of Stork Delivery Services had once said “We deliver everything, but cat liver is really delicious, so we just love delivering cats and people even pay us for delivering cats. This is stork heaven”.


The UPS guy brought with him a boxful of small cats. Ma Kat was a bit angry but Pa Kat insisted that he couldn’t have possibly passed over the ‘Buy 1 , get 26 free’ super saver deal. Ma Kat had decided the name of the first baby and they called her ‘Kita’. The naming of rest of the kittens fell over to Pa Kat. Well, we know now that Pa Kat wasn’t very imaginative because he named the second baby ‘KitB’, the third baby ‘KitC’ and so on. All their babies became famous. This, however is the story of two of these, babies fourteen and twenty seven. Baby fourteen, KitN, went on to become so pouplar in the cat world that cats all over the world started naming their babies after her. Even today cat babies are often called kitns.

When Pa Kat had named the first twenty six babies, he realized that he had run out of letters and still had a baby to go. However neither Pa Kat nor Ma Kat had seen such a chivalrous and brave baby like number 27.

Kitn and No27 were inseparable when they were born. In fact they were Siamese cats and the doctors operated on them to separate them. However, they still remained close friends and embarked on all their adventures together.

How Kitn and No27 helped the human doctors
Doctors all over the world have always wanted to look inside the heads of their patients. This is not particularly tricky, but patients often ran away when the doctors tried to cut open their heads. No27 realized that cats had X-ray vision and could look inside the heads of most humans and examine their brains.

So they patented the CAT scan machine which saved a lot of human lives all over the planet and made Kitn and No27 the first Cat zillionaires.

Now, look at the time, almost 7.30 in the morning, and a catnap is just what i need right now. Meoww....purrr

Your Wife Or Your Life?

To my frens and regular readers out there, hope this story will occupy your precious time. The story actually came from someone close to me and would like to share it with the world.

May the story wake us up from our dream world and bring us back to reality, also may the story knock some sense to those husbands out there!

"There was this news about armed robbers in Nigeria who love raping girls and women during their diabolical operations. And so many wives have been raped by these heartless and ruthless armed robbers. I have never heard of any husband killed whilst trying to defend his wife. And many of them were made to watch as their wives were raped right before their very eyes.

So, the fact is these husbands love their lives more than their wives.I know a former campus beauty queen in Nigeria who was raped by armed robbers a year after her wedding. She was seeing me before she got married. She ran away from her boyfriend who was maltreating her and took refuge in my house.

The guy and his gang asked me to send her out. I refused. I moved her to my uncle's residence, because it was safer. The guy came after her. And my cousin who was also a body builder like the guy warned the bully to keep off or he would be dealt with the same brutal way he was dealing with the ex-girlfriend. And he reported the matter to my elder brother. My family appealed me to surrender the girl and I refused until she left.

Later, she got married. But unfortunately, she was raped by the armed robbers who invaded their home. She felt bad and sad. And to worsen her predicament, the husband stopped loving her and they separated.Was it her fault that she was raped?

Why did the husband reject her when she needed him most? WHY? the question remained unanswered till this very day!"

Missing In Action

Been very busy for the past few weeks wif the school holidays, the festivities, my princess's birthday bash and some minor projects.

Havent had any chance at all to drop a few words in my blog. So hectic, restless blah blah blah (my usual complain) but it had been four memorable weeks that cant be forgotten. So, i'll be gone for a little bit again but definitely will be back sooner this time.

Than you to those who have been visiting my blog regularly and not feeling bored i hope. So, thank you guys and gerls, see ya real soon...thats it for now- signing out!

Rich And Happy As Hell

I received an email yesterday from my best friend and thought of sharing it with all the readers out there. I find the story to be quite humurous actually, so enjoy reading;

This is a letter from the Wife to the Husband

Dear Husband

I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good. I've been a good woman to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw.

Last week, you came home and didn't notice that I had gotten my hair and nails done, cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new negligee. You came home and ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching the game. You don't even tell me you love me anymore, you don't touch me or anything. Either you're cheating or you don't love me anymore, what ever the case is, I'm gone.

P.S. If you're trying to find me, don't. Your BROTHER and I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!

Your EX-Wife

And The Husband Replies;

Dear Ex-Wife

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good woman is a far cry from what you've been. I watch sports so much to try to drown out your constant nagging. Too bad that doesn't work.

I did notice when you cut off all of your hair last week, the first thing that came to mind was "You look just like a man!" My mother raised me to not say anything if you can't say anything nice. When you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY BROTHER, becauseI stopped eating pork seven years ago!

I went to sleep on you when you had on that new negligee because the price tag was still on it. I prayed that it was a coincidence that my brother had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and your negligee was $49.99. After all of this, I still loved you and fel t that we could work it out.

So when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home, you were gone. Everything happens for a reason I guess.

I hope you have the filling life you always wanted. My lawyer said with your letter that you wrote, you won't get a dime from me. So take care.

P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carl, my brother was born Carla. I hope that's not a problem.

Signed Rich As Hell and Free!

So, as a lesson to all ladies, dont judge and leave your man before you got his money..HarHar!

Oh Man!

Just a few good humuors i picked up just to ease off my stress.
Hope nobody will get offended after reading this;

Q: What do you call a man with half a brain?
A: Gifted.

Q: What is the thinnest book in the world?
A: "What Men Know About Women"

Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One ... men will screw anything.

Q: How does a man take a bubble bath?
A: He eats beans for dinner.

Q: How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
A: We don't know .... it's never happened.

Q: What is a man's idea of helping with the housework?
A: Lifting his leg so you can vacuum.

Q: What's the difference between a man and E.T.?
A: E.T. phoned home.

Q: What did God say after creating man?
A: I can do better.

Q: What are the two reasons why men don't mind their own business?
A: 1. No mind. 2. No business.

Q: How is a man like a snowstorm?
A: Because you don't know when it's coming, how many inches you'll get, and how long it'll stay.

Q: Why is it so hard for women to find men who are sensitive, caring, and good looking?
A: Because those men already have boyfriends.

Q: How do men sort their laundry?
A: "Filthy" and Filthy but wearable"

Q: Why do women fake orgasms?
A: Because men fake foreplay!

Q:What is the real difference between men and women?
A:A woman wants one man to satisfy all her needs. A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.

Q:Why do men like smart, sexy women?
A:Opposites attract.

Q:Why is psychoanalysis so much quicker for men than for women?
A:Men don't need to be regressed back to their childhood.

Q:Why are well-dressed men always married?
A:Because their wife chooses their clothes for them.

Q:Why are men such wankers?
A:Because they have a willy with a head but no brains that hangs out with two nuts and lives next door to an arsehole.

Q:What do beer bottles and men have in common?
A:They are both empty from the neck up.

Q:Why can women never find their way to a man's heart?
A:Because they aim too high.

Q:Why does it take three million sperm to fertilize one single egg?
A:Because they're less knowledgeable to find the right way.

Man: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?"God: "So you would love her."Man:"But God, why did you make her so dumb?"God: "So she would love a wanker like you."One day God called Adam to him and said: "Adam, I have some good news and some bad news. Which would you like to hear first?""The good news," replied Adam."Well, the good news is I gave you a penis and a brain.""OK.." said Adam warily. "And what's the bad news?""I only gave you enough blood to operate one at time."

Sorry MAN, just a joke!