Journey of Tears

It’s funny when you realize a woman’s life is a journey of tears….

Once upon a time, when you were born, the first thing you did was cry...you cried when you are wet, you cried when you are hungry, you cried when you want to be carried and you also cried when you want to sleep...following dat many cries when you are teething. Dont forget when you cried after you had your first bump on the head on having your first few steps...

And then, you cried so loud when you fell from your first bike…(I dunno bout you guys…But I cried when I fell because it fucking hurts!) You were full of tears again on the first day of school when you saw your parents left...You cried when you had to change to the upper school...(cos it means you'll not be in the same school with your other friends) You cried non-stop when u did badly in your exam...too petrified to go home…

You cried silently when your crush hit on other gurls…(your best friend to be precise) You shed your tears when you say farewell to your best friend on the last day of school….You can’t stop yourself from crying when u managed to get yourself to University…

Then again...you cried day and night when on your first break up……You sobbed again on your convocation day…thinking you finally made it…You also cried on your first pay cheque...(what the @#*k??this is what I get paid with my qualificatons)...You tears of overjoyed flowed when your boyfriend of four years finally proposed to you...(aahh at last)...The tears can’t stop but flowing on your wedding day…

And you cried with joy and happiness when you got to know that you're pregnant with twins but not before you thrashed your hubby upside down...then the tears continued when you hold your first born twin in your arms…Then you cried when the twins wont stop crying...Down the road, you cried yourself to sleep thinking about your children…(now you've got three sets of twins)

Later…joyful tears flowed down your cheeks when you saw your children growing up and then got married followed by your first grandchild…In the end…You did not cry anymore….
Because... when you left to eternity alone and in despair..

Somebody else will cry for you…haiz.

Momma Koala??

Its been quite sometime dat I've not updated my blog. Been so very busy, had my hands full with the baby. He's so pampered and very loving, very attach that he's like a baby kangaroo in his mummy's pouch or like a baby koala always clutching onto his mother.

Well, that's precisely how my baby is nowadays. Even when he's sleeping, he would wake up and cry if he 'sense' dat I'm not beside him or around him.

But, if, I'm either lying or just simply sitting beside him reading a novel or magazine, he would simply close his eyes and go back to his sleep in dreamland...timid or intelligence? Well maybe he just feel insecure when nobody is around. Perhaps at a very young age, baby starts to demand and need companionship...Just like us.

Sometimes, I just wish dat I could become a baby again, who would'nt want dat. Everything is being taken care of. Being fed, bath, burped, cleaned after doing messy businesses, no curfews and when you cry, your mommy or daddy will surely pick you up instantly. Isnt dat a wonderful life??

But then... I couldnt talk or shout abusing language freely at those people who irritate me...or even worse, when I'm hungry and people ignore me and just act blur...it happened most of the time to those babies who have ignorant and unready parents...such a pity.

But if I dont grow up, I wouldnt be able to blog...hmmm. I wouldnt want dat to happen. I hope dat my 'babies' wont grow up so fast, its like a nightmare but a good one. One moment they're in diapers, learning how to crawl, how to walk and run.

Then they started talking non-stop asking lots of question. Exactly like a battery operated toy robot or car, if you dont switch them off, they'll continue to operate...sometimes you just cant put it on off.

Now, they're in school, learning how to read, write and complain about schoolwork...at the same time they picked up new words and phrases that does not belong to their in-house lingos and happen always breaching the in-house strict language rules. Like those unwanted vulgarities etc etc... So basically to be a parent its not an easy job though. But Im quite happy...

Several years after the day they were born... Suddenly you can see how your baby turned slightly bigger from palm size to a walking partner to the market. How time flies and you dont really notice. It happen overnight. And now its the baby's turn...oh gosh! please, please, dont grow up so fast....I need a baby to cuddle but not willing 'to produce' anymore.

Enough is enough. Full STOP!

Bell's Palsy Who?

Well, I've been thinking a lot on whether to post or not about what happened to me or where was I the past four to five weeks ago, cos I've been very quiet and didnt even logged in. well, maybe I could share my sad sorry story...

It happened in the second week of January during the time where I guessed everybody was happy, excited and overjoyed celebrating these festive seasons with their beloved family and loved ones. Well, not for me, you see, in the midst of all these happiness, suddenly I felt the world came crashing down my feet.

My little princess caught the stomach flu virus, she vomitted throughout the night although after being prescribed by the GP, who gave us a few medications for her. But it didnt stop. The next morning and the rest of the afternoon suddenly she was fine and started jumping around.

So I thought that the situation was under control. Oh boy, was I wrong. At about ten, my hubby realised that she wasnt herself, she had a crooked smile to her face. True enuff, the right side of her face went numb, she couldnt feel a thing. I happened not to notice that earlier as she was busy playing with her sibling and I was busy with their youngest darling baby. How, how could I not notice this earlier? Bad momma, bad bad momma? We started to panick.

The GP's already closed and our next choice would be to send her to the hospital. But I had this feeling of hesitant to send her there as I dont want her to be a guinea pig. So we pray hard that nothing would happen throughout the night. We couldnt sleep a wink. My little princess on the other hand slept like a baby as she was not aware of what was going on.

The next morning the first thing we did was to check on her face again, still no response. Luckily the GP opened on a Sunday. We had to send her back to the same GP you see, cos he prescribed her the medicine so he would know.

Well, when we reached there...Doc told us nothing to worry, its not serious (huh? he must be kidding or wat?)... She developed some kind of a facial nerve problem or something which obviously i can tell that without having a Phd myself...and she cant even gimme her usual smile but the doctor told me just that?

Luckily hubby was quick to calm me down and assured me to trust and leave it to the GP, bcos of course they (Doc) knew better than we do. Later we found out that our princess was diagnosed with bell's palsy (mild facial nerve disorder). I actually asked the doc again to confirm what's the actual name and the goodness spelling of the god damn it virus. The first thing in mind was to check in the internet in order to know more about it.

I was told by Doc and with the info from the internet about the virus...Its likely going to take her two and a half weeks to fully recover...Oh my Lord...God! Why does it take so long to cure? Eventhough it is not a life threatening virus or sickness but cant it be cured faster and earlier than that?

Then I must spend the rest of the 2 and half weeks with hell's worries at the back of my head?. Is she going recover fully or can it happen again? Even the GP cant give me a complete definite answer.

Eventually she recovered fully...about less than two weeks. Thanks to Almighty God. So here i would like to share my experience with other people and to all the moms out there...

One day if you see any of ur child having difficulty to close or blink their eyes or they simply cant give you their sweet loving smile or you notice something amiss to their face.. maybe you should seriously consider to look on that matter without delay (especially when they start vomitting).

Who knows maybe bell's palsy might have just struck on them. We pray to God...may that NEVER happen ! To Hub...Thank you very much...and I love you more, yes I do!

Love & Like

Since the aura or mood of love is in the air and cupid is polishing hard its bow and arrow to hit those stoned heart, maybe I'll add in something about the real lurve that I know. So, here it goes..

In front of the person you love your heart beats faster, but in front of the person you like you get happy.

In front of the person you love winter seems like spring, but in front of the person you like winter is just beautiful winter.

If you look into the eyes of the one you love you blush, but if you look into the eyes of the one you like you smile.

In front of the person you love you can't say everything on your mind, but in front of the person you like you can.

In front of the person you love you tend to get shy, but in front of the person you like you can show your own self.

The person you love comes into your mind every 2 minutes, you can't look straight into the eyes of the one you love.

But you can always smile into the eyes of the one you like. When the one you love is crying you cry with them, but when the one you like is crying you end up comforting.

The feeling of love starts from the eye, and the feeling of like starts from the ear. So if you stop liking a person you used to like all you need to do is cover your ears, but if you try to close your eyes, love turns into a drop of tear and remains in your heart.

So, never never ever turn down love when it comes right piercing through your heart, cos once its gone, It'll take a long time to find its way back. You might end up stone hearted, heartless or worse still, you may even get a heart attack...haha

Human Nature

Humans are selfish by nature. There are few people out there who willingly put the needs of others before their own, not looking for anything in return.

There are few people out there who would make sacrifices for someone who cannot repay them twice over. But I've learned this week that the true measure of a man is seen in how he treats those who are of absolutely no good to him.

Humans were not brought up to think about being alone, or making themselves happy all on their own. The first thing they seek to do is to find people or things to make themselves happy, before they even consider what they can do to aid in the happiness of others.

Humans are greedy, and always want more of everything they have. Humans covet. They always want what others have. Humans are insatiable. Nothing... Nothing is ever enough. But that's just how they are, right? That's how they were programmed to think and act and behave. So, that's human nature. Right? Wrong!!

We were born loving, weren't we? I mean, a child shows love in its purest form. That's why children would go straight to heaven if they died.. they are so pure... But from the time we start to get older and observe the behaviour of those around us, we pick it up and do what they do.

We become selfish because the people around us are selfish. We become covetous because people covet what we have. So if it was just a case of 'human nature' then there would be no chance of change, would there? But there is. It's just up to each one of us. What we call human nature... is actually just human habit.