My Simple Life

As I was waking up this morning I could suddenly understand something that I never had before. It was important, so I wrote it down immediately, while still asleep: a few brief sentences in longhand in a notebook in my dreams. Each word was perfect.

I could see them on the page and they made sense. Then they were gone.But this is how it always is. Each day plays out the same. I wake up inspired by a simple, clear, breathtakingly lucid insight that evaporates by the time my feet hit the floor. Even before I reach the kitchen the sick sense of opportunity wasted has mutated into something more profound.

I have a coffee instead, but that doesn't help. I sit back and half-heartedly attempt to count my blessings, but you know what? I can't think of any.Gone like a cool breeze. Gone like a train.So here I am again, with cold feet and a sinking heart and a head full of traffic noise, still typing busily away. Typing furiously. Typing for my life.

While underneath each passing thought the sly, unending, desperate, pornographically obsessive desire for "just one" cigarette keeps whining, mewling, yowling, pleading bitterly within me like the ghost of some starved cat.[hours pass]I should probably eat something, really. Put some music on. Water the plants. Go for a walk.

Went out, get a cheeseburger (heck with the fat), enjoy the afternoon sun shining on my face, cool breeze swiping my hair, making it stuck to my face. Just enjoying, enjoying my simple meal and walk alone. Getting home is NOT next on my list. But I do have to get home real quick before the rest of the group gets hungry...

But a quick stroll by the beach wont do any harm. Enjoy.